Hanging in there : About Katie Doll

Hanging in there

by The Peanutguy on 01/18/12

Saw Katie tonight and although her lungs are better she still needs the ventilator some at night and seems uncomfortable most of the time. Her oxygen numbers are good but often appears to be struggling for air somewhat and annoyed. No one can tell us why and are trying to figure it out. She will jerk as if shocked every minute or two and her head, arms and legs flail about for a couple seconds or so. Her left calf is bruised from hitting the bed rail so much. It's her left side doing most of the moving but even her right side moves with the jerking.

They gave her 2 ml of Adivan and it seemed to help for about 20 minutes as she calmed but then everything came back. Katie is not smiling or attentive but distracted probably by this condition. Pray they can get her comfortable and figure things out a little better. It's really hard to see her this way. Her and her mom are way past due for a break. Both have no choice but to keep fighting 24/7.

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Do things happen for a reason, or is it all just random chance? Seems like some people have good luck and some bad. Katie didn't have bad luck. 

  I only knew Katie for less than 2 years before the accident. but two things happened in that time. We sort of bonded and became friends right off of course, and she certainly brightened my life, like she did everyone she met.

  Then something else happened to me that never had before. Something began to motivate me to get out my old cameras and start recording Katie Doll. I don't know where this came from, but it was powerful. I couldn't resist it.  There was some fun in it, but it was more than that. It was almost like a duty. Like a job I had to do.

  Katie was no ordinary kid. We all know that, but that wasn't what I was thinking. I just had this need to document things. I'm not a camera nut or a writer.  But think about this...Everytime I knew I would be seeing Katie Doll, I would think "Where's my camera? Do I have enough video tape? Or is the battery charged?"  I remember on the way to her house before her accident I stopped at a Walgreens looking for that old hi-8 cassette tape and thinking..."Why am I doing this?"

  After her accident, I kept it up. It wasn't easy either. Some gave me a lot of grief. No one understood who I was or why this connection. I wasn't family or even a long time friend. It was a stressfull time and here's this stranger with a camera. No one even said 'Hi", but I knew Katie was glad I came. I understand that, and I heard a lot of hurtful things. When I did the Quadrisizer fundraiser I would hear that someone said..."Katie will never get that thing,just wait til the money gets up there"  Why would anyone in their right mind want to keep on?  From the outside it didn't make sense. But I can't even explain how powerful that responsibility was felt.  That and knowing Katie would want me to, I couldn't just stop.

No one was doing a website for her.  I was at the ER when the doctors suggested to her sister she would be the ideal one to make entries in their already set up and beautiful website... http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katiedoll 
She made one entry,posted a photo of herself with Katie, and quit. I asked others if they could do it. No one was telling Katie's story. Katie couldn't do it. 

I had no idea what I was getting into when I started this website. I would drive to Tigerville with my camera knowing my job wasn't finished yet. I would drive back very distraught the whole way. But with some pictures for her website, and knowing I gave Katie some small entertainment. 

  Why the website became so popular I have no idea. It wasn't because of me. I'm not a website promoter. Actually, I don't think it's that great a website except it has a lot of Katie's beautiful face on it. But it got really big really fast. This is important to know.

  For 3 years if you just typed the name 'Katie' this site was number one on all search engines. In spite of the fact there are famous people and movie stars with the first name Katie.  If you type Katie Doll it's still number the one organic now in spite of the fact there actually is a doll named Katie. The Katie Doll has been around for years. The first two years this website was getting up to a thousand unique hits a day. New people from around the world that had never been to it before.

  Then the emails began to come. Stories of how Katie was changing lives. How people were going back to their faith. How parents were going to appreciate what they have. Katie caused minimum a million hugs.  That's my educated guess. One million people affected by this little girl in Tigerville South Carolina.  Where from? India,Canada,Brazil,Puerto Rico,All Countries in Europe,Australia,Guam,Japan,Indonisia,Russia and dozens more. How many teachers or preachers have touched that many souls in that many places? Billy Graham maybe but I think Katie's lessons were stronger, more powerful.

I am copying these emails for Lynn and Tony and it's taking time there are so many.  You have to consider that for everyone who sent an email to Katie's site how many were affected by her but didn't send one.

  The reason I'm telling this is...it wasn't me. If I knew how to make a website so popular I never would have met Katie. I would be living in a penthouse suite somewhere on the coast 8 years ago when I started my website boilednut.com selling peanuts. If only that website had one tenth the popularity of Katie's. But there was an invisible hand in it. I believe the same hand that had brought us together and made me get into photography. And what perfect timing it was. 

  In the song FOREVER YOUNG theres a line....'May your wishes all come true'. Katie wished to be a teacher and Katie wished everyone would love her.  Katie wasn't unlucky. Katie's wishes came true 100 fold. There's a life and there's an afterlife. Both are real. It seems the afterlife is so far away and distant. It's as far away as the thickness of a sheet of paper. Katie wasn't unlucky, I would trade places with her in a second. Imagine a God who created the universe using you. What's four short years of grief compared to that?  

I wrote Katie was a gift from God the first thing when I started this site. I was wrong. She was more like a loan. Why? I think we needed to be shown what love is right in the middle of a place where it was sorely needed. Now that we've been taught, Katie is waiting to grade our papers. I hope you get an 'A'  -Tom (peanutguy)  

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